Kaitlin Reflects

Kaitlin with Foundation Alum Ozzie Tavares

Kaitlin with Foundation Alum Ozzie Tavares

Today was such an amazing day I'm not even sure I can put it into words.  Since I've come back from college I've been doing a lot of thinking.  What I want my summer objectives to be what coming back to the Foundation means to me, where I want to go in life and who I want to be.  And I'd kind of settled into what seemed to a few different themes of my life currently.  The first is starting over.  When I quit tennis, I assumed it would be forever.  My pride was too big to ever go back to the academy or really be associated.  I was young and ignorant.  I didn't see that tennis was so much more than a sport at this point in my life. I got a job and good grades and thought I was doing well for myself.  And slowly Ozzie began to tip toe back into my life and with that he brought the idea of "greatness." Now at the time I was doing fine, but having felt and experienced what I had with the Foundation, deep down I knew it wasn't quite right. I was doing okay, better than most. But I wasn't my best. I tried on my own to be great and seemed to be faced with what felt like a string of just mistakes and tripping over my own feet. I could have sworn the harder I tried to be better at life the worse I got. The beginning of my freshman year of college was a blur of this. Trying to get up and spring only to trip again. Somewhere in there I started to do really well. I thought I was beginning to reach even a small amount of my potential, only to find after winter break I tripped myself again.

A few nights ago I was discussing with my friend Tim the concept of greatness and what it means to be your best and I explained to him how it felt like I might never be able to stand up and stay up in life. And as these words slipped out of my mouth I realized how silly they were. And it was in that moment that I decided to dive 100% in. Not just to work or school, but all of life. I had been afraid to fully emerge myself in these waters for so long. But in doing so now, I've began to feel the ripples slowly hitting me. The absolute best feeling in the world is knowing you gave every last thing you had to give that day, and then going to bed with a smile proud. These past few days I've felt so alive, like I probably haven't since I was 14 or 15. And the worlds through many tough trials and adversities at me already and I've overcome them with stride.  The reason I started this long tangent was because today I was listening to Starting Over by Macklemore. And I think about what I have to offer these kids all the time. I quit. I messed up. And today I realized I'm a perfect example of even if you mess up or fall off the tracks, you can always come back to center and go home. I think that is what I want this summer to be about for me. Coming home and giving back. I know I would not be where I am today without you Wolfington. You saved my life. Coming to this Foundation changed me in ways I will never be able to forget or deny. I have a full ride scholarship to a tier one school. And I started working today at 8 am and I just got home and I've never felt better. I'm still not sure what this summer has in store for me but I know it will lead to great things.